New Year....

I may have a little negative in my last post, but I really am grateful for this year. And the time ahead.
I can't help but look back and feel upset about how crap time at school was and how much I hated doing GCSE's, and blah blah blah but actually you know what, I am incredibly grateful. Some people don't get education, and I've had plenty of it. I also started my time at a wonderful college and have now made friends I LOVE that accept me as I am.
And, my fab family and puppies were there for me, so I am eternally grateful for that (blimey it's all getting a bit deep now, isn't it!).

This 2016, I'm really hoping to start on my 'proper' journey, my work-y journey. To really start up as a yoga teacher and really begin to focus in on drama as best as I can.
I will get the stuff I may not be as keen on done, so I can really bring the attention into the stuff I love.

I haven't really been into blogging that much this year either, and although I say this every year I would really like to push the blogging a little bit more.

Wishing everyone a sparkly, wonderful year ahead.

I Want

I won't lie. I don't want Christmas to be over.
I feel different at this festive time, I feel jolly and warm and cosy and free and kind.
Like, what if I end up being scrooge the rest of the year?
But I need to flip this sorrow into something positive by thinking how bloody lucky I am to have had such a beautiful time so far in my life and just look forward to 2016. I know you can always start intentions and resolutions but this big back to beginning just feels so huge and different. I feel motivated to stay present yet still know there's an exciting year ahead!
I want to get rid of stupid OCD rituals completely, get rid of any tendencies I have left over from silly old eating habits that caused me to get skinny and unhappy and this time not just write this and say it but secretly carry on, I mean really stop.
I want to truly embody love, freedom and happiness.

Thank you 2015 for being a gorgeous albeit stressful year.
Here's to 2016... a year hopefully full of love and enjoyment, and staying cool through the tough bits.
Love to all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy Christmas everyone!!!!

I've had a gorgeous Chrsitmas Eve so far: yoga, last minute bits and bobs shopping, lovely lunch, baking, wrapping, eating mince pies - yeah!
Over this December (and I guess, most of the year....) I've been a bit up and down. I've been happy, smiley, yogi, bouncy Esh and then the next minute I've been extremely upset, angry and frustrated making myself workout because I ate some cake. It's been a swirly in my mind and next year (and for the rest of this year) I really want to try my hardest to dedicate myself to my passions so that there is no room for silliness.
Even yesterday, I was excited and festive and then someone said the weather was mild for this year and that was it. I plummeted in mood and started crying saying "it's not gonna be the same as last Christmas!" - I mean, how stupid is that? And it's not just the chilly-but-not-freezing weather, it's been everything from not doing yoga in the morning to how my tummy looks; all absolutely ridiculous, narcissistic, self obsessed tiny little things that actually don't matter. What matters? Love. Peace. Health. Happiness. So when I'm having a silly tizz over something meagre and petty, I need to really bring myself back to now - how lucky I am and how grateful I am for even just living right now.

Munch mince pies, laugh with your favourite people and smile when people open your gifts, and most importantly, love and enjoy the last gorgeous, sparkly, beautiful part of 2015.

Love and light and festive fancies,
Esh
xoxo

Thought Clear Out for Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone!
I'm not entirely sure what this blog post is about, I guess I just want to share all the thoughts in my mind to have a clear out before Christmas... does that make sense?

Okay, thought number one: I'm really trying to relax. I know I have a lot of work to do - yoga stuff, college stuff, baking work stuff, but this year I want to have no worries and just do the work when I get time rather than stress about it 24/7 and just be a panicky mess.
Thought number two: Guilt can go shove itself in the bin. I feel guilty so often whether that's guilty for waking up later than I wanted to, guilty for watching vlogmas videos rather than writing essays, guilty for eating two bits of cake, and this is all crap leftover from stupid rules I must have made up in the past. Guilt doesn't really do anything. Sometimes, it makes me get off my bum and hoover my room whereas other times I feel like I'm in a constant battle with being guilty compared to just wanting to chill.
Thought number three: People talking about the weather like it's Spring or Summer is really upsetting me, and I know that sounds stupid because there are so many huge problems in the world that I shouldn't really be worrying about a natural cause. But it's still Winter! It's still Christmas! Just because it's a few degrees higher than last year doesn't mean I can't wear my christmas jumpers and you can't enjoy the festive season. It hardly ever snows in December, so just enjoy the end of the year rather than freaking out like I keep doing... which is why I'm writing this because I'm fed up of worrying when actually it's pretty normal and it is still chilly.
Thought number four: IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS! I know that isn't really a thought but this last few days have had me filled with fuzzy, sparkly, happy feelings of festive joy and I'm loving it - even if you don't celebrate Christmas, making the most of the end of 2015 with family and friends is such a lovely thing to do.

Much love to everyone, enjoy your Christmas, relax into it, enjoy the chilly weather and stay sparkly.

Happy (Healthy) Holidays!

We all know that 'tis the season to let your hair down, enjoy a mince pie (or five) and have onesie weekends, but don't we also all know that come January those pesky feelings of guilt will come sneaking in as we huff and puff trying to do one burpee?
Well stop right there, pals. I shall help you get through Christmas.

1. Enjoy natures' offerings

So many glorious veggies and fruits come into peak mode right now - helloooooo clementines, brussel sprouts, cabbage, celeriac, chestnuts, cranberries, kale, parsnips (my bae) and pumpkins! Bulk your Christmassy roast dinners/lunches with some plant based power! Not only will this help out your waistline but it'll also help your digestive system, skin, hair, nails, metabolism and it'll send the planet some well deserved love.

2. Make it a date!

*trying to think of a dried fruit related pun... nope, nothing*

Although I am one to have indulgences little and often (ahem, every single day I eat chocolate #werkit) it's quite nice to make those festive fancies a special occasion. On Friday after college, I have a soya gingerbread latte. On the weekend, I know I'll most likely eat some cake. I just think it's nice to know when you're gonna have your not-so-healthy-but-extremely-festive-treats. TREAT ALERT! TREAT ALERT! Using the words naughty with foods makes me a little bit twitchy. It makes food sound off limits and I don't know about you, but I'll just want more of it. So I like to think of my more indulgent foods as simply that - something I don't need everyday, but it's nice to have occasionally.

3. Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the gym is so delightful....

Going to classes at the gym, going on wintery runs or even having a yoga party at your house are all great ways of keeping fit and enjoying the seasons best asset: spending time with your loved ones! Or, you could take exercise as your 'me time' time. Christmas is a full on time of the year and maybe you're getting a bit bored of all the tidings and joy, so taking even just half an hour out of your day to zone out of 'TRA LA LA LA LA" to "OMMMM" can be a massive help on the old chestnut. 

Also, as we all know, exercise is pretty darn amazing on the body and the mind. You'll feel confident, hot-to-trot and very zen.

4. Give back

Christmas is a time for giving, so maybe make more of an effort to give to people in need. Think about what you're eating, where your shopping - not only does being conscious about others and the environment help everything out, but you will also get a lovely cosy, fluffy, warm feeling inside. It could be as small as buying a sandwich from Pret as they give money to the homeless, to signing a petition, to cutting down on your meat and dairy consumption, to making an effort to turn off all of your Christmas lights at night.

4. And relaaaaaaaaaaaax

Take some time out to watch Home Alone with a hot choc in your festive PJ's, or have a bath, do some meditation, just sit and do nothing. Take Christmas day completely off, and stuff your face silly. Keep calm, and jingle on.

Thank you very much for reading this, and if you have any tips of your own do leave them in a comment.

Enjoy this gorgeous festive season, spread love, kindness and joy like Christmas confetti!

Memories and Advent Calendars

Pffffttttttttttttttttttttt.

It's been a while. Again (again).

I do so apologise for being a la absent, but blogging really hasn't entered my mind, and I feel like I'm in a constant battle of finding balance at the moment. Balance between college work, yoga teacher training, going to the gym and doing nothing. I should be reading, writing a diary, working on my presentation, doing yoga for 2 hours a day but sometimes i just want to sit down with a cup of tea and some (correction: a lot of) peanut butter and watch vlogmas videos and do absolutely nothing, but I need to take blogging and possibly youtube in the mindset of fun, rather than work, and they capture such gorgeous memories and I am one to stalk my own old blogs and youtube accounts just to suck up all the festive-y memories.

So, it's December! If anyone knows me at all they'll know I'm a little bit of a Christmas addict (again, correction: a massive christmas-aholic). The festive season, no matter what holiday you celebrate, just brings so much joy and sparkly goodness into day to day life, whether that's a smile from the barista as you order your Christmas blend latte, or whether it's a group of people singing horribly but merrily out of tune to Shakin' Stevens.

My mum's made me this amazing advent calendar; each day is a new thing, whatever that may be. The days so far have ranged from everything from getting a little bar of dark chocolate, to going to a wintery walk, to getting some festive deely-boppers, so maybe that'll be what I blog about each day. Today, the 9th of December, I've been granted with a little mid week treat in the from of some 70% chocolate wrapped in golden paper. Looooovely stuff.

Have a gorgeous week everyone, lots of love!

Erin

'I Come From'

I now attend college, which means I'm a big grown up girl (even if I still sit with my legs crossed wearing a hat and making my family make me almond milky tea).
And in college today, I went to my first creative writing course where we did this lovely exercise that included taking a poem and shaping into a bit of an auto biography poem.
The poem we shaped was called "I Come From" by Robert Seatter, and here's my altered version:


I come from a village absolutely packed
with small children and over 60s',
from warm smiles, cosy homes,
rain visible from the cafe windows,
fitness teachers and greetings
if you look them right in the eye
I come from hippy upbringings,
eco toilet cleaners, atheist
ideas, peace and love
I come from 'The Green Bible Book',
doodles, scribbles, dancing,
a complete set of christmas spices
a family of independents with a love for speaking their mind
a London grandfather, an Essex grandmother
with a happy chappy accent
I come from happiness
I come from Jai Ho: Pussycat Doll
ukuleles, films, tea cosies
I come from slugs in the lettuce
and patterns and colours that I bring with me
back from the yoga studio
I come from extravagence
I come from where people don't judge