'I Come From'

I now attend college, which means I'm a big grown up girl (even if I still sit with my legs crossed wearing a hat and making my family make me almond milky tea).
And in college today, I went to my first creative writing course where we did this lovely exercise that included taking a poem and shaping into a bit of an auto biography poem.
The poem we shaped was called "I Come From" by Robert Seatter, and here's my altered version:


I come from a village absolutely packed
with small children and over 60s',
from warm smiles, cosy homes,
rain visible from the cafe windows,
fitness teachers and greetings
if you look them right in the eye
I come from hippy upbringings,
eco toilet cleaners, atheist
ideas, peace and love
I come from 'The Green Bible Book',
doodles, scribbles, dancing,
a complete set of christmas spices
a family of independents with a love for speaking their mind
a London grandfather, an Essex grandmother
with a happy chappy accent
I come from happiness
I come from Jai Ho: Pussycat Doll
ukuleles, films, tea cosies
I come from slugs in the lettuce
and patterns and colours that I bring with me
back from the yoga studio
I come from extravagence
I come from where people don't judge

To Feel Happy For the Rest of My Life

Have you seen the new Paper Towns trailer? The main boy says to the main girl (sorry for not including names, this is a wee anecdote rather than a full on John Green discussion) how he feels his heart pounding in his chest and she says “that’s how you should feel your whole life”.
But I worked out how I want to feel my whole life. I want to feel free, calm and happy.

This sounds really odd and gross and way too TMI , but I’m sure I sweat more when I’m nervous/uncomfortable/unhappy. And today I’ve been rushing all day, working out in the morning, going to the shops, stuffing a soggy bagel down my throat, running across Edinburgh, running more, running more (all to make it to shows!), and I haven’t been sweaty. HOW WEIRD IS THAT? I understand that’s disgusting, but just think about it. Our bodies react oddly when we don’t feel quite right; you may get a twitchy eye, or an itchy arm. But whenever I feel properly happy, so much that I have to smile in savasana, my body and inner self feel so darn good.

It can’t happen all the time, I get that. Life isn’t always perfect and smooth, but please grab it. Grab it by the… I don’t know, grab it by the air or whatever - just GRAB IT and LOVE IT.
This is all very fridge magnet-y, but seriously, enjoy your life. Not having a good time? Change it (if possible). Move things around, whether that’s as small as moving your bed or as huge as moving your life to another country. Or just stay and be present and love it.

So there we go, preacher Esh goes off on one again. To be perfectly honest, these are more reminders for me. To remind me to love my life or change what I’m not loving. Like i said, things happen but don’t blame the things that just happen to happen on you. You’re not in control of the world, but you are control of your mind. Make THAT wonderful.

Globe Trotting Yogi: Meadow Lark Yoga Studio in Edinburgh

I love Edinburgh.
Everything from the drizzling skies, to the patchwork roads. The beautiful crepe stands to the promise of a warming chai in a cafe.

Every year, we come to Edinburgh for the festival and it is WONDERFUL, but this year I had a little something I was almost concerned with - how to keep my physical yoga practice up. Last year was the first year I was properly into fitness but luckily we stayed in a rather large flat and I managed to do kickboxing and pilates at home (my two faves), but this year I'm into fitness and stuff a whole lot more. The gym in my village is my second home and I adore it, so mum and I managed to grab a festival gym pass somewhere near where we're staying now but no yoga. I'm trying to keep doing my sun salutations in the morning and sneaking in some arm balances and balances here and there whilst exploring, but I do miss a full on class so I treated myself to a workshop at Edinburghs' infamous yoga studio, Meadow Lark.
Not gonna lie, I was ECSTATIC. I know this sounds fan girl-y and nerdy but I'd been basically stalking the studios' instagram over July just lusting over the gorgeous looking pictures and it delivered in it's gorgeous-ness. I did a 3 hour Hatha yoga workshop with Eleanor Spring, and as soon as I walked in the door I knew it was my thing.

Greeted by a smile, I plopped my Birkenstocks in the shoe holder (what is it with yogis and birkenstocks? I nearly took someone else's!) and made my way down to the Moon Studio. Promising already, huh? It gets better: the smell of incense lightly filled my lungs. In the studio, tealight candles made the room feel dream like and incredibly relaxing, whilst light decoration and that gorgeous smell of incense still made me feel energised. Fast forward lots of smiling, bakasana play and a long blanket covered savasana, and I was out. Beaming. Energised. Invigorated. I don't care how cheesy it is, I felt detoxed just by the pure happiness that covered the studio,

Plus, they have a cafe.

Yes, I ordered a large banana bread flavoured smoothie.




Yes, I guzzled it in about 30 seconds.

Reflecting

One thing I love thinking is that my past has led me to now, and now is all that matters. Obviously it isn't always easy, but focusing on the present makes me so much happier, and today I wanted to have a little chat about why your past can help you.

Looking back at my old Facebook pictures and memories brings up a heap load of emotions. I see myself smiling through forced friendships, see myself ecstatic and loving life, see myself as an awkward wannabe 10 year old. Regrets pop up all the time, of course I'm only 16 so it's not like I have a heck load of mistakes I feel I've made but I have a few, and I won't bother you and get too personal but I often argue with myself about some of the bigger decsisions I've made in my life, but you know what? That's no use. If I hadn't gone to school and stayed home educated, I wouldn't have learnt so much (not education wise, I didn't learn much in some lessons because my concentration at school was SHOCKING) about myself and others. Our past leads us to now and I really try to think positively about there being no use in regrets and wishes for change. Everything we do in life gives us more knowledge (I think I nicked that line off of '13 Going On 30'), and I know it sounds really uppity and cheesy but this is more like a message to myself. Who cares if I made myself ill and unhealthy, it's taught me now how to care
for my body - we learn, accept and grow.

Next time you're flicking through Instagram and feeling upset about who you used to be, try and learn from it. Work it and shape your life. Love who you are and love what you do.

Travelling Beanie: The Den at Twenty Three, Colchester Review

A humble sized room with a big blackboard, some stalls, tables and a counter is what you see as you enter the modern yet cute cafe of 'The Den at Twenty Three'. As the first and only vegan cafe in Colchester which only opened around 3 months ago, you may think "hmm they're probably quite quiet" but oh no; It was buzzing with people to get their soya latte fix or a burger and a sit down.

On the outside window of the cafe, there are the words "100% plant based" and I LOVE that.
Seriously, I love that simple sentence. Why? Well because it's a much kinder and softer way of saying vegan. It calmly introduces everyone and anyone to plant based food - I mean, it really backs up the idea that you don't have to be labelled a 'vegan' to go into the cafe. Everyone could do with some more plants in their bodies, couldn't they? So by enforcing this title it really just grabs everyone, veg head or not.

I ordered the barbecued chickpea salad and oh my giddy aunts' cotton pyjamas. It was so good, and big! I am so done with cafes that give you, like, half a cereal bowls' amount of salad. Voluptuous, the bowl was filled to the brim of salad leaves, buttery avocado, sweet tomatoes and a zingy, smokey and warm load of chickpeas with this fab barbecue sauce.

The Den offers a plethora of vegan substitutes, like violife cheese, Vbites burgers, soya whip, veggie marshmallows, etc. Personally I'm not a fan of many vegan subs, I'd rather just eat the wholefood stuff only because a) the stuff I've tried before like vegan cheese has tasted gross, b) it's often quite pricey and c) I don't tend to miss those things I gave up when turning vegan, BUT saying that, I tried a bit of my mums' "cheese" and chutney sandwich and is was actually so good - SO good that we bought violife cheese as soon as we got home! And I sometimes crave a proper hazelnut latte with whipped cream or a hot choc with marshmallows so I completely respect these guys for giving the opportunity to not miss out to all.

It was really busy on the day we came, understandably, so we did have to wait a little amount of time but if anything it just made me even more excited for the food which was to arrive! They also gave us free cupcakes at the end which was so thoughtful of them, and they were delicious too. I had half of a chocolate one and half of a bakewell flavoured one - of course the chocolate was my favourite, but they were both gorgeous.

SECOND EXPERIENCE:

We went back, oh yeeeaaaaah. This was quite a lot later in time, and the reason I hadn't posted this blog post was because I thought mum wanted to write something but she got a tad busy with work (sorry The Den!).
The second experience was even better, probably because I was hungrier, or maybe just because I had got even MORE excited about going back. This time, I ordered a Messy Mexican Burger with avocado and it was so good! Literally, delicious - it was the perfect balance of a healthy meal and a  bit of a treat. Afterwards, I got some chocolate icecream and a big slab of watermelon (which Jen really kindly gave for free because it had been sitting in the fridge for a bit, nevertheless it was still super tasty) - the perfect Summer's day meal.

Please check out The Den at Twenty Three, whether you're plant based or not - you're guaranteed to have a lovely time and a very, VERY happy belly.

Natural Beauty

Let's start off with establishing that you're already beautiful. Okay? Okay, let's crack on.

No one 'needs' makeup, but it can make you feel better, boost your self-esteem, make you feel more creative, it's fun, it's comforting, etc etc, but that makeup you put on everyday (or, whenever) contains a whole lotta crap that your face is just sucking up. And frustratingly, much of what we put on our skin is absorbed and goes into our bloodstream. Now the reason that this is annoying is because it sometimes seems SO HARD to find natural makeup brands, and trust me, I know it is hard.

I remember when I was nine I loved to put makeup on my friends - I didn't just chase them around with lipstick in my hand screaming at them, but I would always try and persuade these poor 8 and 9 year old girls to be my models, and I got creative. Blue and green eyeshadow, I must admit, was a poor choice of mine, but as I matured I wanted to branch out a little, and buy my own eyeliner (I never wore it out, but just pretended I was in the 1950's at home). 10 years old, and standing in Superdrug, I felt lost. "Should I get the pen one or the brush one?" I asked my mum. "Either," she replied, "but you know that they test on animals." Horrified I put it down and ran out - I've been watching Legally Blonde for as long as I remember and I remember that bit when she tries to get cosmetic companies to abolish animal testing, so obviously I completely disagreed with it.

6 years on, and I'm still finding it tough.
Sure, there's more known non-animal testing brands (like Barry M) but it doesn't mean they contain good stuff. I won't further bore you with stuff about parabens (but click on this link to read more about the horrible things) but basically, they're not great. So now my filter section on makeup websites is even more pinickity - vegan, non animal testing, no harsh chemicals.
But I'm here today to share with you a few of my favourite finds, natural beauty style (i know, I know, it took me a while to get here).

I'll put a video just underneath this showing you HOW I do my makeup, although not complex, but here we go!

• Origins Fill in the Blanks Eyebrow Pencil - £15 

Let's just get this straight, when you're as picky as I am sometimes you've got to prepare to splash out. It's so cool if you don't wear makeup, and most of the time I don't but I prefer wearing a little especially as I have tiny eyes underneath my huge glasses, so I know some of the products are a little pricy but in my (short sighted) eyes, they are worth it.

I've never been a fan of eyebrow pencils, they always make me look like I've taken a brown sharpie and drawn two upside down ticks above my eyes, but this I love. It's smooth and easily blendable, and has a great colour. I like to apply with tiny little strokes, hardly putting any pressure at all on the actual pen, mostly just filling out the bit closest to my nose, and then slightly tapering as I get to the end,

• The Body Shop Flawless Tea Tree BB Cream - £8

I am actually still hunting for my perfect concealer (so far they've left me a little orange-y), so I'm carrying on using this. It's perfect for overall coverage, but as you can see inn the video I prefer to use it just on  the ickier parts, like under my eyes on my spotty areas. It works nicely to cover up lightly, but don't expect a heavy one block colour coverage, it definitely gives more of a natural finish, so if you're looking for something more heavy duty this may not be for you. I love it because it's light, breathable, quick and easy to blend, smells nice, isn't too pricy, lasts for ages, doesn't contain much crap (though I'd prefer to get a concealer from a more all natural company), doesn't test on animals (though once again, I'd prefer to find something from somewhere else as L'oreal Paris own The Body Shop which upsets me just a lil'), and has tea tree so I know it's doing my pores some good.

• Origins Automagically Eye Liner - £15

I looooooooove this. It's so incredibly smooth and soft; very blendable and buildable but can also create a sharp line. You could go for a smoulder-y smudgey look where you rim all around the eye and blend like crazy, a simple thicken the lash line look like I go for, a cat eye, anything!

• Neals Yard Lengthening Mascara - £16

This one isn't being used in the video because, stupidly, I can't find it. But it's fab. It's not very volumising, but gives you long fluttery eyelashes. The smell reminds me of herbs and marshmallows at the same time but in a kind of nice, comforting way. It's also full of goodness and I swear my eyelashes hardly ever fall out since using this. IT'S FAB! :)

Check out Neals Yard Remedies, Origins, Benecos, and Pacifica for fab, natural, nasties free makeup that will make you feel great!

If you have any recommendations, please do comment below and also comment if you'd like a follow up on this - my favourite natural body products or hair products.

Thank you!

Feeling Frisky and Fierce

I’ve left the evil enclosure of school, HOORAY AND REJOICE!

Fear not, it wasn’t that bad, but GCSE’s were pretty horrible and all my calm vibes completely left me, but now they’re back and I’m back in town ready to rock and Namaste.

 

Come September, I will be attending college – how weird is that? I know, I know, I look like I’m 10 but guys I’m actually 16, believe it or not. So now I’m a big grown up and all that, I now have to go to sixth form but, I’m not afraid to admit, I’m actually a little bit excited about it. I’ll tell you why:

• -      I have had to buy two new notebooks (you can tell I’ll be good at making friends, can’t you?), which is super exciting because I am just a tad obsessed with patterned notebooks. There’s something about the crisp pages and lovely embroidered covers of Paperchase notebooks that make me feel a little giddy. Oh dear…
• -    I only have to study TWO subjects. And they’re subjects I love; performing arts and creative writing. I know that there will still be a lot of work involved, but I don’t mind rolling up the sleeves on my Kale jumper and getting my head in the books as long as I find the subject interesting, which luckily I do.
• -       It’s gonna be SEPTEMBER when I join. Anyone know why that’s so exciting? Well ‘cause it’s the beginning of AUTUMN that’s why. And in Autumn it’s chilly, and crisp, and golden and plum, and smells like rain on freshly cut wood. And I love it.
• -       I GET TO WEAR MY OWN CLOTHES! No more uniform nonsense, I just get to live in my yoga leggings and a comfy t-shirt or jumper every single day. Hells yeah.
• -       The college I’ve chosen who will (fingers crossed!) hopefully accept me when I get my results have a gym and outside activities so I’m hoping for a yoga club, and if there isn’t one, I’ll start one myself!
• -       I’ll be doing my yoga teacher training very soon after starting, which further excites me for my future.

So right now, I’m just feeling happy and excited – which is how life should be! I know that if you don’t like something, change it, but unfortunately that was impossible with school and GCSE’s so now that’s all over, I’ll be making the most of my life.

Get excited guys, about today, tomorrow, next year, your next meal, whatever! Find what makes YOU happy and enjoy it. 

Dare to dream big.